My Goals for 2024

Mar 13, 2024 · 12 min read

Descartes said cogito ergo sum. I say you should publish your goals on your website so that public shame will force you to take action. Descartes and I have little in common.

Academia

Exactly one year ago, I made the most difficult choice of my life and switched my chess career to an academic one. It turned out to be a great decision: I have a wonderful job and I am not insecure or anxious about my career anymore. I currently notice the necessity of taking the following steps:

  1. To come up with an academic philosophy.
  2. To do meaningful research.
  3. To get a PhD degree.

The first two items above need clarification. They imply that I should find answers to certain questions: What is the purpose of the university? Which values should students develop? What is an effective teaching methodology? What does meaningful research mean and how to conduct one? etc.

I should read about education, discuss my ideas with clever people, and get continuous feedback. The output of my efforts should be in the form of an essay. That’s because, in good writing, all the important ideas about a topic are effectively condensed into a single persuasive logical flow. Not only the author of the essay can think through writing, polish and structure his ideas, but also a written text helps to get better quality feedback than a spoken speech.

In 2024, I should write a draft of an essay about either the mission of the university or an effective teaching methodology. The latter is less ambitious and more doable. I then should ask people in academia to read my writing and give their feedback.

I don’t have to be idealistic all the time. What does meaningful research mean? I am not sure. But I shouldn’t wait until I find answers to all of my questions before publishing a research paper. For the record, I currently have no less than a non-negative amount of papers published up until now. It is good that I have already chosen my initial research interest: Computer Vision with Deep Learning. In 2024, I should author a research paper on computer vision.

The text above wraps up my career goals for this year.1 Every other area of my life is either uncertain, unclear or in total chaos.

Health

For the past few years, the only sports activity I engage in is swimming. There are periods when I swim more consistently, but the last time that happened was before I started my full-time academic job. Academia became my only purpose in September 2023, and I lost my interest in everything else (I am exaggerating). Now I prioritize staying at my office until 10 pm to leaving earlier for swimming. That is wrong at the core.

I should not make academia the meaning of my life, that I realized only recently. My ambition whispers to me that my career should be a piece of the main puzzle. What is the main puzzle, I don’t see yet, but I have to be physically healthy to sustain my capacity for any noble work.

I am bored of swimming – I need to find a new sports activity. A few years back, when I was a more rigorous dreamer than I am right now, I had a concept that I should be capable of a minimum physical capacity. It roughly meant that I should be able to:

But as I used to be very bad at realizing my plans (now I am just bad), the minimum physical capacity concept remained as a concept. Maybe that was natural, as when I go through the list now, I notice a problem: why would I do it all? These fitness challenges shouldn’t be a requirement of my life; they demand time and effort, and there are certainly many more meaningful and non-athletic activities that I should engage in throughout my life.

I should approach the fitness list above in a different light. I can choose a single item from that list and have fun achieving it. In 2024, I should practice to run a half-marathon in under 90 minutes and participate in Baku half-marathon the next year.

Health is a chair standing on its three legs: if one leg is physical activity, the other two are diet and sleeping schedule. In other words, health is an octopus that lacks five legs.

With diet, my rules are simple: have a good breakfast at around 7 am or earlier, have lunch at 12, have dinner at 5. Eat fruits, don’t eat fast food, don’t drink alcohol or soda unless there is a good reason for that, eat no more than two sweets or one slice of a cake per day.

I am no dietitian, but that all seems like an improvement over my current diet. What is my current diet? I either have a weak breakfast or simply miss it when I leave home early in the morning. I have meals at random times, I eat fast food at least three times a week, and I overindulge in sweets and chocolate.

Things are complicated with my sleeping schedule. Ideally, I should go to sleep and wake up at the exact same time (11 pm and 6 am respectively). There are very rare days when I can achieve that, but usually, sleep has total command over me and I sleep beyond healthy hours on weekends.

Now that I have these ideas, I should remind myself that trying to tackle everything at once has never worked for me. Instead, I should choose a single key item and be at ease with it – I shouldn’t rush. How about this: in 2024, I should have a healthy breakfast at around 7 am or earlier for 250 days.

Family

Deep down in my heart, I know that my goals above are secondary and futile. The only thing that matters in this life is my faith and my interaction with others. I will keep matters private in this section, only noting that I should talk with my parents more, if I am to have fewer regrets in the future.

High Purpose

Disclaimer: This is the only depressive part. I have a high self-esteem.

I look at my miserable and boring life and realize how underdeveloped I am. There is something naive in my desires, there is no passion in them, and if I set forth to achieve some goal, I end up questioning its eventual meaning. What is the meaning of being able to run a half-marathon? What is the meaning of mechanically following a sleeping schedule? What is the meaning of all that self-restriction, of the “correct” life? Tolstoy would laugh at me.

The sense of meaninglessness of my desires paralyzes me and hinders me from committing to any action. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t question anything, I need to close my eyes and just do. But the questions are already there and my eyes are wide open.

My problem lies in my inability to figure out the highest purpose. There is no main aim to become an umbrella for all of my life goals. That umbrella would reduce the randomness of my desires and help me to concentrate on only what is important.

Some people find the purpose of their lives in competition, in political struggle, in becoming rich and externally successful. Others find their meaning in mastery or continuous self-improvement. Yet others – in family, in community service, in serving their country or nation, in educating youth, in curing people. Some – in science, or in religious faith.

I have certain preferences among the mentioned possibilities, but I am yet to choose something specific. This initial indecisiveness is the cause of my current paralysis. I am afraid of making the wrong choice while understanding that there is no right choice.

I may choose to live an aesthetic life. I may dedicate my life to fully experiencing music, art, literature, cinema – to anything that has aesthetic value in it. But isn’t that a selfish path? Won’t I get tired eventually?

Two Extremes

I slowly realize that life is more important than books, and doing is more important than gaining knowledge. Compare two lives: the life of a scholar who dedicated his whole life to studying all the great books and history, and the life of a simple peasant who cultivated his garden. Which one of them has lived a more meaningful life?

When I say doing is more important than gaining knowledge, I don’t advocate taking action without preparation. A leader who is overconfident in his abilities will bring misery to the lives of his followers. The one who always acts and has no time to learn will consistently produce something mediocre.

I should always be cautious of these two extremes: acting without knowledge and gaining knowledge without taking action. It seems to me that, paradoxically, a cure to escape both extremes is to live in them: to shift in between the extended periods of retreat and action. Let’s say, for two months, one may shut himself off from the outside world, engage in no social activity, and devour great books. For the next two months, he should act and act only, without reading even a single paragraph. Is it practically manageable? I don’t know. Is it an effective life? I don’t know.

But I seem to know where to obtain the basic theoretical knowledge, the fundamentals for life. Two resources I take into account: the Brodsky List and the Ebert List. Both lists can be extended with Azerbaijani literature and cinema works, in total, summing up to about 100 books and 400 movies. I shouldn’t rush through these lists and try to scrutinize each item, I should explore and discuss the deeper meaning behind the great works of literature and cinema.

I don’t know how to properly study art and music as I am not aware of any analogous list. But that shouldn’t be my concern right now. As I have noted, I shouldn’t pursue everything at once, and instead choose a single item. In 2024, I should define the updated Brodsky and Ebert lists and complete about 20% of them. That roughly makes 20 books and 80 movies.

But there is a problem with my approach: submerging myself in studying the generally Western past will alienate me from my time and surroundings. What are the morals and thoughts of my nation, of the contemporary world, of my decade? I will have no answers or wrong answers.

My lists should be mixed with certain modern works. Furthermore, reading and watching should be achieved during the retreat period. It is March, and I am tired of reading and shutting myself off. This and the next months should be an action period.

Action Retreat
Mar, Apr, Jul, Aug, Nov, Dec [Jan, Feb,] May, Jun, Sep, Oct

Social Life

My current social life consists of irregularly meeting a few friends in a restaurant or cafe. On some weekends, I attend galleries or theaters, on others – I have nothing planned. I dislike board and table games, I have no social hobbies, I rarely meet new people.

My situation was only a little less severe half a year ago. As May and June is going to be a period of my complete retreat from social life, I need to rush and fix the situation. In 2024, I should attend at least three social events each week and get a weekly social hobby. I should engage in this hobby until the end of this year.

Misc

There are a couple of other ideas in my mind that I would like to realize in 2024. They are not as prioritized as the goals mentioned above, but I still find them important. Here is the list:

The most crucial among my secondary goals is building a quality wardrobe. I should get rid of everything I don’t wear, buy a bespoke suit, and pay a little more attention to my style. Currently, I have two alright outfits and I wear something average on other days. I would like to be consistent in my appearance.

I started backing up/organizing both my digital and physical space in the past year but then the enterprise came to a halt. I would like to continue and finish the process: back up all the media files, delete everything unnecessary, organize digital files and accounts, and get rid of unused old devices. Similarly, I should back up the necessary physical media to digital format, remove unused items (e.g. papers, clothes), and logically organize the remaining stuff.

Publishing ten essays and writing five short stories is a preparation for my literary career. I should usually deal with it in the last two weeks of my retreat (Jun, Oct).

I solve my smartphone addiction by shutting it off, hiding it in a drawer, and switching to a dumbphone. Because of that, I am incapable of reaping the benefits of my smartphone. It would be great if this year I somehow developed the willpower to use my phone only when I had to use it.

The goal of listening and speaking is interesting. For the past few months, whenever I am walking, even if I am tired after work, I usually force myself not to think, and instead, pay attention to my surroundings. I notice people, their outfits, moods, facial features. It is an interesting game, but I would like to turn my situational awareness into a habit. Because of this practice, now I am better at conversations, but I still cannot effectively combine talking, watching, and listening. Especially, listening. Because of an old habit, I also don’t talk articulately. I would like to fix that as well.

Regarding my finances. I am not a spendthrift (just googled this noun), but I also have no skill in turning money into more money. It could be an interesting experiment to have such a goal for this year: to make money out of money.

Last year, I decided to track my happy moments because of the reason mentioned in one of my old essays. Whenever I was happy, I would write the precise moment down: the day and the cause of my happiness. In the past Summer, I was happy 9 times: May 28; June 2, 3, 11, 12; July 8, 15, 16, 23. Since September 2023, I have been happy not even a single day. I simply forgot to use my capacity to be happy, to catch and appreciate a good moment when it arose. I would like to bring that skill back and slowly progress into living each day as the last day of my life. Passion is lacking in my desires and actions.

I have just recently returned back to Instagram and LinkedIn. I enjoy that social media connects me with other people and helps me to quickly communicate my ideas. Yet I despise everything else: social media instills in me false desires and expectations, directs my thoughts and actions both politically and consumeristically, wastes my time with stupidities and makes me stupid. My social media and smartphone problems go hand in hand. One needs ultimate willpower to reap the benefits of them without being their victim. I obviously lack this willpower if I am writing this essay (see the very first paragraph).

Privacy is a more general and difficult issue, concerning my daily interaction on the web. I know nothing about networks, cyber-security, cookie policies, terms and services. I feel like the more the world progresses technologically, the more I should alienate myself from technology. And the decade is approaching when being above technology will be a high ground; it will protect me and my family from the harm of the outside world.

Anyway, too many things. Desiring to fix something weakly will not deliver any outcome. I should be more specific and not go for everything at once. What are the most important items above? Wardrobe, back up, listening.

In 2024, I should build my wardrobe in March, back up and organize my digital and physical items in April, and learn to observe and listen.

Conclusion

Here is the recap of my goals for a quick review. I should:

  1. Write a draft of an essay about either the mission of the university or an effective teaching methodology.
  2. Author a research paper on computer vision.
  3. Run a half-marathon in under 90 minutes and participate in Baku half-marathon the next year.
  4. Have a healthy breakfast at around 7 am or earlier for 250 days.
  5. Talk with my parents more.
  6. Define the updated Brodsky and Ebert lists and complete about 20% of them.
  7. Attend at least three social events each week and get a weekly social hobby.
  8. Build my wardrobe in March.
  9. Back up and organize my digital and physical items in April.
  10. Learn to observe and listen.

A couple of final remarks. Item number 4 needs to be carefully tracked (right now, less than 300 days are left until the end of the year). Item number 6 should be tackled during the retreat (May, Jun, Sep, Oct). Furthermore, the concept of retreat and action may be practically inefficient. In that case, I will have to reconsider my approach.

I should come back to this writing and report my progress every third month or so (Jun, Sep, Dec). This is the eleventh goal for 2024.


Footnotes

  1. I decided not to force things regarding PhD, yet become a candidate if an opportunity arises. ↩

  2. I tried to make each fitness item equally challenging and did unreliable Google research. I might be biased. ↩